...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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