ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
