I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't deserve a penis
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
