I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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