i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
