it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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