She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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