If that was your dad, he is hot
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
