Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize