he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
