They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize