Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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