Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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