Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
