What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
