Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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