after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize