Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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