We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
vagina is talking i cant
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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