remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
