I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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