I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize