i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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