it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
