dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize