If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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