Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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