I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
