Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
