I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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