You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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