They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
