Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
