No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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