i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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