My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
