I am puke
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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