Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
