At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
