Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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