who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The power of my boobs compel you
lol hangovers are for mortals.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
