I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
