had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
