new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
