Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
