Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
