It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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