wakey wakey hands off snakey
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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