she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
