I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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