Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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