I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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