It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
