I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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