i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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