we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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