your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
