90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
