So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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